mrsjennyws

I hope everyone had a lovely long Easter weekend! It's a shame it went so quickly, and it's also delayed me posting, mainly because I sat back and didn't do very much with my weekend, which was FANTASTIC.

Right onto the actual post...

I've done all of my 30 Before 30 posts on my old blog, up until now. It's officially transferred over the mrsjennyws! I've linked the old posts at the bottom of this one in case you want to catch up.

This was my original list...I'm not doing too badly. Well, actually as only six things have been crossed off the list, that's pretty crap. And with my 27th birthday coming up this weekend, time is of the essence!

A few of the things I've crossed off. Getting engaged, getting married, buying a house and going camping!

30 Before 30

1. Get Engaged
2. Get Married
3. Have a Baby
4. Buy a House
5. Save Enough for Our Wedding
6. Have £10k in Savings
7. Earn at least £30k/year
8. Work for Myself
9. Be a Stay at Home Mummy
10. Buy a Mulberry Bag
11. Write a Book
12. Write a Recipe Book
13. Visit Australia
14. Visit New York
15. Visit Italy
16. Go to Harry Potter in Florida
17. Visit Disney
18. See the Northern Lights
19. Swim with Dolphins
20. Go on a Hot Air Balloon Ride
21. Grow my own Fruit, Veg & Herbs
22. Go Camping
23. Have a Spa Day
24. Crochet or Knit a Baby Blanket
25. Learn to Drive
26. Run a Marathon
27. Own a Pet
28. Cook through a Cook Book
29. Do a 365 Project
30. Own less 'Stuff'

Any excuse to post some more wedding photos! Photography by Trevor Godfree

I'm thinking that, if it's not cheating, that I may need to amend some of the items on the list. Basically because I've realised that some of those things are just NOT going to happen.

In terms of no. 8 and 9, I would absolutely love for these to actually work out. I just don't think they will (unless this blog magically takes off), but I'm going to leave them on there with hope.
I also don't think that 26 will happen, I'm too lazy. And 24 will DEFINITELY not happen, I've had a go at the whole crochet thing and it was just awful, I'm not capable enough.

I need to swap these out for two new tasks, but I'm struggling to think what. As I said, I do want this list to be somewhat managable, I know that it needs to push me too, but I don't see the point of things being on there that I know will NOT happen, that's just a downer.
This is what I've come up with:

    24. Manage my Grief
I know that this might sound strange, but it's been nearly 2 years since my dear old Daddy passed away and yet there are still days when I feel like it happened a month ago rather than 2 years. I know that it's completely normal, that you can't rush this process; and that when the person is that close to you it can make the whole process worse. But I've realised a few things recently about this, which are that I'm not coping 100% and that it's made me an angrier person. I'm hoping that I can start to deal with this better so that it doesn't affect me in such a negative way and that I can just enjoy the time that I had with my wonderful Daddy.

My Daddy

    26. Keep Blogging
Again, a bit of an off the wall one, but at the moment I really enjoy this blog, I've already experienced and lulls that come with in (in terms of motivation, but maybe that's just me generally), but I still enjoy it. Having a little piece of me out there, a corner of the internet that's my own and something that I can focus on. So if I can keep this going until I'm (at least) 30 then I will be chuffed with myself!


There we have it. I feel like they're good things to add, not just a boring old task that can be ticked off, but something to work towards and a way to improve myself.

Here's the updated list:

1. Get Engaged
2. Get Married
3. Have a Baby
4. Buy a House
5. Save Enough for Our Wedding
6. Have £10k in Savings
7. Earn at least £30k/year
8. Work for Myself
9. Be a Stay at Home Mummy
10. Buy a Mulberry Bag
11. Write a Book
12. Write a Recipe Book
13. Visit Australia
14. Visit New York
15. Visit Italy
16. Go to Harry Potter in Florida
17. Visit Disney
18. See the Northern Lights
19. Swim with Dolphins
20. Go on a Hot Air Balloon Ride
21. Grow my own Fruit, Veg & Herbs
22. Go Camping
23. Have a Spa Day
24. Manage my Grief
25. Learn to Drive
26. Keep Blogging
27. Own a Pet
28. Cook through a Cook Book
29. Do a 365 Project
30. Own less 'Stuff'

Some of the places on my travel list. Picture Credits: Rome and New York

Now fingers crossed I can get a few more things ticked off soon...if only I'd added visiting Canada to the list! There is definitely a bit of overlap with my Life (and 2016) Goals, so I've planned well there!


30 Before 30 posts from my old blog
30 Before 30
30 Before 30: Behind the List, Part 1
30 Before 30: Behind the List, Part 2
30 Before 30: Behind the List, Part 3
30 Before 30: An Update


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...and dealing with those around me who don't understand. Well, trying to.

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Do you ever find it frustrating when you love something and no one else seems to understand?

Admittedly, I am the sort of person who will get hooked into a new idea, take it and run. I have an obsessive personality and so if I find something I like, I don't just like it - I LOVE IT.
Some things stick and others don't.
For example, I love McFly, I've been a fan since they formed 12 years ago and I love Harry Potter, no more needs to be said there.

I love stationary, and yes I got rather obsessed with planners and organisation in 2014. I bought a planner from Paperchase and a Filofax (a cheap one), both of which are sitting doing nothing now. A fact for which my husband doesn't let me ever forget. But if you look at it another way, it got me into using a Moleskine diary, and I've been using them for just under 2 years now and I definitely wouldn't have got through the Wedding without it. And I still lust after gorgeous planners, I've promised myself that one day I'll buy myself an A5 Ochre Malden Filofax to use at work.
And I've always loved stationary.


Now onto makeup. Yes, it's a recent thing, we're talking around 9 months of makeup 'obsession' so far. So it's possible that I could move on from this? Onto something new? It is possible, anything is possible.

But I don't think I'm going let go of this one so easily and this is why.

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I was 'forced' into learning about makeup.
 I mean I wasn't forced per say, but it was a necessity. I decided to do my own makeup for the wedding and once I'd decided that and started, unless something went disastrously wrong, there was no going back. I had to throw myself in and learn about it, lest I look like a troll on my wedding day. But what I found out as I started getting into it was that I liked it.

Not too shabby.

I have lots of nice makeup that needs using.
As a result of building up products to use on my wedding day, and this includes buying something then learning more and buying something different or better. My learning and process evolved and so did what I bought to experiment with and to use for the wedding.
When I first started I remember doing a big order from MUA, I was so excited when it arrived, trying everything out. But as I started to buy more and buy higher end, I learnt that the high end makeup is what I love.
Yes, I'm a makeup snob. But it doesn't mean that I'm not open to 'slumming it' so to speak.

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On my wedding day it relaxed me.
The most important day of my life and the most nerve wracking day of my life. Doing my makeup that morning was wonderful. Whilst I knew that it's what I'd been building up to for 7 months, and I did have a wobble when I started and the enormity of it hit me, going through the familiar process was exactly what I needed that day. Had someone else been there doing it for me, and I had more time to think, the nerves would have set in sooner.
This is one of the best reasons I love makeup.

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It is gorgeous.
You can't even argue against this. There are so many products and they look so gorgeous. Just looking at people's flat lays on Instagram, the products, colours, packaging. There is so much about the makeup itself that is just beautiful. And that's before it's even gone on your face.

@hippiesandlippies

I'm enjoying this blog.
...so much more than my old one. Yes, it may seem silly, especially with only a few posts under my belt, but I am really enjoying this blog more and I feel like the posts and ideas come to me more naturally. I'm excited about it, I'm actually making an effort to get ideas, write posts, set up a Twitter, promote posts, work on my Pinterest. And when I open up the Blogger page with my stats, seeing the page views creep up, it puts a smile on my face.

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I've learnt a new skill.
Now I know that at 26 I am not old, so it's not like teaching an old dog new tricks. But I'm so proud of myself for teaching myself a new skill. It's something that I can carry on and it means that once I have children, I can teach them about makeup too.

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I still have more to learn.
So much more, I'm not bad and I'm pretty proud of my wedding makeup. But I know that I am by no means great at makeup. There's so much more to learn, refining techniques, learning about new products. There's room for me to grow here.

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It makes me look older.
Now this one might seem really stupid, but I promise it's not. I'm 5ft tall with a very small frame and a young face. I've always been teased for being small and ID'd in pubs, bars and shops for looking young. In recent years I've even been ID'd for something that you have to be 16 to buy, I'm 26. When I have makeup on and go to buy drinks, I don't get ID'd. For me, that's amazing. Makeup makes me look older, more grown up, but it also makes me feel more grown up. And as I'm married now, the last thing I want is to look like a child bride.

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It's become a social media gateway for me.
Yes, every single thing out there has an online community, if you like something, there's someone else out there that does too. But this is different, this has opened me up to a worldwide community that share in this love that I've found. Instagram accounts, youtube channels and endless blogs. It's amazing and the people are amazing too.

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I love lipstick.
When I got my first makeup at 18, I didn't get lipstick. I hated wearing it, I hated how it felt on my lips. When I had my first makeup lesson last year before the Wedding, I hated the lipstick. I hated having it on and it made me feel SO conscious of myself, I was sure that everyone was staring at me. I wiped it off and immediately felt better.
It obviously got to a point where I knew I could not get away with not wearing lipstick on my wedding day. And somehow over time my opinion seemed to do a complete turnaround. Maybe it was finding MAC lipsticks and their general amazingness. Whatever it was, I now love lipstick. It's probably one of my favourite parts of makeup, my only problem is that I feel I need to have a full face on to wear lipstick.

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Makeup is special.
To me it means confidence, experimentation, learning, fun, change. It's so much more than what it is. And it's a treat, it's a way to pamper yourself, to feel special and girly. I've never been a girly girl and I don't think I will ever be super girly, but I love that makeup makes me feel just that little bit more girly.
And it does not mean putting on a mask to cover up, it's there to enhance what you already have.

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It will help me.
I'm also hoping that this blog, this focus and passion I have at the moment will help me. My Dad passed away in May 2014, I can't believe it's nearly been 2 years. I seem to find myself saying that a lot at the moment, but I can't believe it. I absolutely adored my Daddy, we had such a special bond and to have him ripped away from me...but this is not the time to waffle on about him.
But in reality, I haven't been coping so well since then. At times my mental health takes a real turn for the worse and I've found it difficult for me to ever get help, no matter where I ask, nowhere makes it easy. So I'm hoping that in some strange way that this will help me work through it all.

My Daddy

Both my husband and my mum don't understand.
In fact, I don't really have any friends who are really into makeup, except @keepcalmtaylor she definitely understands me the most. But bless her, she's said that I know most about makeup out of everyone she knows. When did I go from being the clueless one to the knowledgeable one? But I'm really glad I have her to ramble on about makeup to.

My husband hates makeup really, and I think he's kicking himself for suggesting that I do my own wedding makeup, but he created this monster. I think he might be warming up to it though, or maybe he's being more tolerant. We were out at the weekend and he offered to buy me some makeup, even a lipstick and he hates lipstick. I pointed that out to him and he said that he's getting used to the ones I wear now...progress.

My mum doesn't understand either, I was never a girly girl, in fact I was always much more of a tomboy. She doesn't wear much makeup and as I wasn't really interested when I was younger, we never really had the makeup bonding relationship. It's a shame, but I'm glad that I can have that with my daughters (assuming I have any). Maybe I can teach my mum too, before my wedding she said I'd have to show her how to do her makeup!

And then the problem is it, without meaning to, they make me feel bad and guilty about it. It somehow taints this feeling I have. I love them both, and I don't want anyone to think I'm being mean about them, it's just that they don't seem to get it.
I am so excited about our trip to Canada (and America) and I've posted about my wishlist. But for fear of being judged, I don't think I'll be able to get what I want.
When I asked my mum for Birthday money to spend in Canada, her response was 'You want more makeup? But you have so much already!' Yes, admittedly I do now have a fair amount of makeup, but compared to some people's collections, I have the bare essentials.
So I'm not sure what I'll do. If I have the money, maybe I should just stand my ground and get what I like.

And finally, before I round this off, I will add, as everyone does, that I wear makeup for me. I like wearing it and it makes me feel good. But in a way I do wear it for other people too, I feel like other people who see me might think I'm more put together, and I already mentioned about it making me look older. But those things boost my confidence too, so I guess whichever way you look at it, it's still always for me.

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